This one is going to rabbit trail a bit…I’m stuck on this thought of a faceless love. What is tripping me up is the thought that once you’ve put a face to love it is no longer love but just a form of affection. I say I love my wife, but is it true love or is it that we wear rings that say that we love each othere and we also said it in front of a bunch of friends? That being said, do I truly love her? I know everything about her, but now I have a face on that love! Where is the mystery? Of course I love Cynthia, but is it simply an earthly love? If there were no identity to this love, would this love be even more? I wonder this about my love for Christ also.
When I think about Jesus, I have a face on him. He is attractive, white, and quite honestly a bit effeminate. I picture the jesus in the picture at your grandma’s house. I wonder if by putting this face on him if my love is skewed in any way? There is no mystery. With this face put on Jesus, now I have a saviour that I can understand. It’s the thought of iconification in which once we have a face on someone or something, we make them into whatever we imagine them to be.
This makes me sad because I wonder if since Ive been living with this icon of jesus in my head, have I ever truly loved “Jesus”? I’ve had plenty of girlfriends of whom I told that I love, but today I never talk to or about any of them – they are only a memory. If I stopped following the Jesus I know today, would I still love him ten years from now? Would I miss him, or would he be like my girlfriends and become one of those we don’t speak of?
Maybe Jesus and I need to go to marriage counselling and reconnect so that the mystery will come back. Maybe it is simply that I need to find the mystic Jesus that nobody really “knows”, much like the Orthodox church. I don’t want to become one of those guys who simply worships christ because it is cool, but instead is worshipping because God is with us. I wonder if Jesus’ humanity is what is killing the church because now that there is a face on him, we can control him. “if our god is for us, than who can be against us”? Now Jesus works for us instead of us working for him.